Dairy Heir

I was never satisfied with the reasons given for our tradition of eating dairy on Shavuot, although quite satisfied with the cheesecake. Gematrias of chalav (=milk) equaling 40, which amazingly enough corresponds to the days Moses was on the Mt...feh! We could have used the same letters to spell chevel (=rope) and required that we tie each other up in ropes to symbolize our bondage to God.

But recently I read something interesting on the Aish site. The tradition for eating dairy symbolizes our recognition that all our needs in this world are provided for by God just as a mother gives of herself to her child. What is milk? It is the most elemental form of sustenance for a newborn. It has everything that the baby needs to flourish. On this holiday, our fledgling nation is given the Torah, the spiritual sustenance that will nourish it and allow it to grow to spiritual heights.

And we stay up all night, like babies, to milk it for all it's worth.
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Yichus

R. Frand mentions that the sentences describing the forebearers of Israel's redeemers begins vague and anonymous:
'"A man went from the Tribe of Levi" brought about the first redeemer (Moshe) and the pasuk "A man went from Bethlehem Yehudah" led to the final redeemer (Moshiach - who will descend from King David, a descendant of Rus)...One does not necessarily need to be great himself or have superior lineage or wealth or power. Any anonymous Jew can potentially produce the future leader of the Jewish people.'

So here's the rub folks. What's with all these 'frumma' people who are so insistent upon good yichus, lineage, background etc. If the greatest of our people can come from anonymous beginnings, why should we expect better results from yichus? Is good middot genetically passed on? Aren't there many off-the-derech individuals from great yichus? And conversely aren't there truly erlecha individuals of humble origins?

Me thinks that those demanding yichus are really seekers of kavod, desirous of status or the ability to connect and identify with greatness. It's all ego and it's all about, yeech, us.
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Jogging A Memory

I was trying to catch up with Tali who was jogging with some guy, somewhat ahead of me. She slowed down to let me. When I reached her, I asked her what happened to her boyfriend and she just shrugged as if he really doesn't matter. She gave me a longing smile that melted me. We jogged together towards the beach as the sky dimmed. I looked at her face and watched it age, crows feet, double chin, morphing into the likes of her mother but it all didn't matter because I love her.

I woke up to realize it was just a dream again. Tears ran steadily down my cheeks. I hadn't planned on jogging this morning but I felt rather compelled to symbolically, at least, chase after the girl of my dreams.

Talk to Me...

Have inanimate objects ever talked to you? Come now, admit it, you are amongst friends, you know. Did you ever emphatically deny that you are delusional, trusting that your sensory input was OBVIOUSLY accurate? Well, send in the boys with those special coats that you don't find in any Far Rockaway gemach because THERE BE TALKIN'.

Now don't y'all get goofy on me but as of late, I feel like the books I read speak to me. Of course, I mean that metaphorically or else I can kiss custody of my kids goodbye. Hmmm, don't tempt me. And let's face it, talking books are for the visually impaired anyway or like Trix, they are for kids.

I find this experience akin to what people feel when they come across something in the weekly Bible section and find it directly relevant to their current life situation, as if God put it there just for them (do I smell egocentrism?). The words speak to them, provide insight, perhaps perspective, or maybe just express what they were feeling but couldn't articulate.

I like to glean pearls from all the different authors and books I read. If I go through a book with less than two light-bulbs floating over my head, I'm disappointed. I crave these ephemeral incandescents for they are the bulbs that shine light upon my life. Today I was reading from Skeleton Crew and found Stephen King whispering and sometimes screaming at me. (Is that ambulance sirens in the background?) So here is what caught me with my pants down, which isn't always a bad thing but can be quite revealing:

"I got scared and I let her get away. Was it as simple as that? Dear God help me. I think it was. I'd like to have it a different way, but perhaps it's best not to lie to yourself about such things as cowardice. And Shame...And if those things were true- if [she n me] had somehow belonged...Did you laugh? Did you scream? Did you shoot yourself for a yellow dog?"

Well I don't know about that ole yellow dog but I nearly wet my self because as I write these words I really hear voices. In fact they are singing, "Don't know what you got til it's gone." Yes, Cinderella's song is playing on the radio right now.
Just strike me down now if the next song is Nights in White Satin- "Letters I've written, never meaning to send..."

For all those who appreciated that frightening glimpse inside my head remember: "The exhausted mind is obsession's easiest prey."-SK Lisey's Story.

There is a little pill for OCD...I think I hear it calling my name...
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Clocksuckers

Read that again. Yeah, I said CLOCK-suckers. Everyone knows life is short but what do you do when the person you're with drains the life away from you? Their indecision traps you in a dysfunctional relationship, one that should've moved forward already or fizzled out months ago. Perhaps a child has an educational or emotional issue but one party's refusal to reach a conclusion allows the problem to persist for an unacceptable amount of time. Should you get all wound up?

Who has time to even address the issue of boring lectures or speeches? Five minutes max or I'm a snoozin' (and that's being downright generous). And all those that make phone calls just to talk on and on about themselves and really have nothing to say;) Or clients that talk on and on when your schedule is getting backed up. Now I'm all for building a rapport with a client but at what point can you begin to charge psychologist rates as well? Worst of all, people who write long winded notes, blah blah blah, droning on and on, sucking the time right out of you. It's gotta stop, for God's sake!