Afterthought

There actually was a runner up, fifth place choice for the previous post. After much reflection and deliberation I have chose to add this story as an addendum with honorable mention.

A number of years ago, I was invited to my coworker's wedding. It was a Russian affair, beautifully catered but not Kosher. I hadn't had time to eat prior to my arrival but was happy for the steady supply of vodka. I won't brag how well I held my liquor because I clearly couldn't. I hopped up on stage with the band and two dancer and joined in the show. After a bit, I leaped out into the crowded dance floor with a flying karate kick. I was later told/reminded that I had a great time dancing with everyone.

It came time for the bouquet to be thrown and a lovely lady was lucky to catch it. Then (I think that was the order of events but who can be certain), The groom removed the brides garter and overthrew it way past the bachelors right to my feet. I was married at the time and I was just coming out of my fog. Ten minutes earlier and who knows how bold I might have been but with the return of conscious thought came the inhibitions and guilty conscience. Like a fool, I just pointed to my feet and summoned the bachelors to come and get the garter.

Now that I am divorced, I wished it would have played out differently but I guess my integrity would have been compromised if I had acted inappropriately. ['cause all of you know, I never act inappropriately ;)]

Five Somewhat Interesting Things About Me You Won't See On MY Frumster Profile

WebGirl tagged me, now consider yourself tagged in the most negiahdicka fashion.

1. First off you'll not find a profile of me on Frumster or any other dating site because I flourish in the world of face to face, get your gumption up and initiate hot pursuit. I guess if Shabbatons, singles gatherings and networking weren't bringing results, I would turn to Frumster. Specifically on Shabbatons, I get in the charm zone where I feel the twinkle in the eye, a sharpness to my humor, and an air of mischief. Rarely fails.

2. In seventh grade, a friend and I found a cup full of cash in a classroom and we split it. Later that day the in-your -face math teacher tells everyone to put their heads down and whoever stole the Tzedakah cup should bring it to his desk. It hadn't occurred to me that this was charity money and it really isn't my nature to steal or cheat. I was a real goody goody in school. To this day, I see the look of disappointment in his eye when I was the one who did the walk of shame to his desk.

3. I went to Camp Moshava as a learning Rebbe after summer session was over. I was really into it but I lasted only 3 days before they made me counselor. Thank God because as a rebbe, I had little access to the social scene but once I got around campus with the kids, I met a lot of women including one very nice Israeli woman. We stayed out late after the kids were asleep and kissed on the dock.

4. My store manager and I were running errands when we passed by a Victoria Secret. He dared me to go in and, well, ask for a dildo. I walked in entirely confident and cocky and in front a a small group of shoppers I asked where they kept their dildos. The young saleslady looked flushed but her superior who happened to overhear the exchange chimed in without missing a beat, "Wrong store, sunshine!" Now I generally don't have the uncontrollable urge to accept a dare as many men do but I was in the 'radiant phase' where I feel so extroverted that a big smile and a gabby mouth could do no harm. Manager still laughs to this day. Things we do for our buddies...

5. There was a brief time when I experimented with candles. All different scents, if you know what I mean. Actually, you don't, so I shall explain. I was turned on to Leonardo Da Vinci (not in that way). He felt it imperative to stimulate all your senses while using your creative mind. He would have music playing and scented candles permeating the air with their savory aroma while he was painting. I thought if I could tap into that, I could tap into genius. The results are that I'm here executing blog tags.