Fasting

So what do you think about all day when you fast? Do you inspect the errors of your ways and plan to modify your behavior? Or do you do what everyone else did yesterday on facebook..."I'm hungery...headaaachhhhe...one hour to go..." or bake all day in anticipation of the end of the fast?

Instead of elevating the mind to contemplate God or the meaning of historical tragedies, in the end, pushing the body to such levels of deprivation, focuses us almost entirely on our body and its needs. Food and drink become the holy grail, the new messiah that we anxiously anticipate.
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Tisha B'av Excellent Adventure

For only $19.95 you too can have a temple to the Lord!..

As I sat on my floor, legs akimbo, my mind contemplated the great words of our sages Wayne & Garth (ty shoshana), "We're not worthy, we're not worthy..." I reflected on the human tragedy depicted in Eichah, on our national calamity and loss of our temple. I considered if I felt we, as a people, deserved to have our temple rebuilt (as if I had any right to pass judgment at all). I considered the recent chilum Hashem publicized in the press. I compared the shortcomings of our ancestors, whose errant ways led to constant castigation by our prophets and eventually to the fall of our temple and exile from our land. "There is nothing new under the sun," says Ecclesiastes. And indeed there is nothing new in human nature. Our past only vaguely serves to warn us of the dangers of our unwitting actions. Denial allows us to wander in a blissful haze and we feel broadsided when life and reality hits us over the head. We don't properly consider the implications and impact of our actions. "No one will catch us, who will it hurt?" we rationalize to ourselves. But our actions have universal implications, far beyond the individual, the family, the nation. Religion directs us to grow spiritually, to evolve beyond the limitations that nature imposes on our physical and cognitive being.

My hydration deprived brain began to sway back and forth regarding rebuilding the temple. As I considered my very own thoughts, that our nature and tendencies have not been perfected and that we have not corrected the errors of the past, I wondered if that was really a criteria for having a temple. The second temple's building was not contingent upon it. Maybe its building would aid in strengthening our religious identification. Then again who could really identify with worship through sacrifices, in this day and age.

My stomach growled as I accepted that there won't be any building of a temple soon. I lamented the tragedies of the past, lessons unlearned, warnings unheeded. I lamented that as a species with the greatest potential, we have so far to go to become truly good. For these I mourn.

Im EshKachaych Yerushalayim TishKach Yeminee
(I think I must have forgotten Mecca because my left wrist is messed up)

Visually Disarming

There are moments in life that are more than enlightening, they are truly revealing. Rare, are these glimpses beyond the veil that shrouds our daily existence. But regardless of the brevity of the experience, the intensity is resounding and the revelation overpowering.

Sunglasses:
My ophthalmologist tells me they protect against the harmful UV rays that cause cataracts and macula degeneration. As a an average hiking Joe, I know them to be darn comfortable in the bright sunlight. Had I been a psychologist, I might have said a person wearing sunglasses even in the shaded areas of the forest, had something to hide. But when she took off her sunglasses while we sat at the finest of Harriman pizza, I saw the world through the eyes of a passing character in a superhero comic. It was like witnessing for the first time the ultimate of revelations, when a secret identity is shed and the superpower of the hero revealed to an unsuspecting stranger. Those eyes were not only enchanting but absolutely powerful to gaze into. Had I held her gaze any longer I'd be speechless. I do recognize that this was, indeed, her secret hope. Had she only known she had this power earlier in the day.
I look forward to hiking with her again although I will need special kryptonite goggles with lead inserts.

Susceptibility:
The Talmud tells us there is fortuitous times for certain actions and prayers. Ecclesiastes obviously co-opted the song by the Byrds when it says, "To every thing there is a season..." Well, summer is my season.

I don't think I really understood the magnitude of the these words; their biblical proportions, in fact, until I reflected upon my previous hike. Being in tune with nature, being challenged physically (no, NOT mentally), being with like-minded people, allowed me to feel extremely extroverted. It was as if my personal space and boundaries expanded outward like the mushroom cloud of an atomic blast but that could have been the odor of hiking many miles.

I felt myself drawn to the above mentioned lady whom I consider asking out. I was singularly aware of my singleness but also that there was a window of opportunity when she would be more receptive to an advance. I didn't, in the end, because I don't want to get a rep as the guy who hits on all the women of the hike. I also like to reflect on the whether it is a person is worth pursuing. I have to tell myself not to sell myself short by saying she wouldn't accept x,y, & z. That's her calculation. As for me, her location is GUD (Gud damn it), deep enough into CT that getting to see each other may be a limiting factor. She is more 'frum'. She wore a skirt on a climbing hike. I would NEVER do that (thank G-d) - so are we close enough to be compatible religiously? Do I want to really have more kids? Can she, as one never been married, relate to my kids or my situation?
I guess sometimes you just gotta jump in and get into the zone, ah!

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Just a Dream

I looked down into her dreamy eyes, with the back of my hand I brushed gently along her jet-black hair. We weren't just in love, we were destined for each other. We had been so in our previous lives and we were to be so again.

A flashback to one of those previous lives in Babylonian times. A cautious, stubborn general with a vision of future consequences, refused to heed his leader's call to amass his forces for invasion and was imprisoned for it. Thousands of tiny black specks swirling, seen from such a great distance surely represented the armed forces massing, none-the-less. In 10 long caves these forces converged, awaiting their time to come out and fight. The tides of history march on regardless of his choice to participate. Another general would take his place.

I watched this with my love, she led me off to the side, down smooth steps cut in the rockface by nature's artistic hand. It was lightly drizzling in the beautiful rainforest. She led me to a narrow cave, dark and muddy, beckoning me to follow. I hesitated for a moment not wanting to get my shabbat clothes dirty but ultimately decided to follow her wherever she may lead. I had an intense feeling of epic scale love, one of cosmic proportions, one that spans time and all boundaries.
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