No Cause For Alarm

The alarm went off at 11PM. It was the carbon monoxide detector. Somehow it was able to detect that odorless, colorless, tasteless but most deadly gas. I have had a mild headache for the past two days and I recalled that a neighbor of mine had headaches for a few weeks before they found that it was caused by a small leak of carbon monoxide. Yet, I had attributed my headache to too much wine amongst a gathering of friends on shabbat or perhaps presbyopia was setting in which leads to near strain (which could cause blurry vision but may cause headaches initially). Oddly enough I didn't think to attribute it to childcare. So I just pulled the plug to stop the annoying sound and opened the windows. I was in no mood to wake a bunch of beautifully sleeping children.

After 10 minutes, I plugged it in again and it read zero. Yay. The original ready was 249 which is moderate danger. Within a minute the alarm went off again and read 259. Do I panic? Do I rush my children out? Not a chance. I called the fire department and within 5 minutes there were three hook and ladders, one ambulance, four private vehicles and lots of swirling lights and sounds. I relayed to them that I just used my fireplace the night before for the first time this season (and that I used it well, wink wink). They proceeded to search my whole home and everywhere the reading was always ZERO. I realized that the alarm went off within a short time after I accidentally bumped into it. They felt that since the device was from 1999, I must have disturbed an internal mechanism and I should replace it. In any case the firefighters insisted on examining me (shame I'm not a woman). In any case, they found my blood pressure to be 140/90, which is stage one hypertension. I said I have always been 110/70-120/80 and considering the commotion I figure this may be par for the course. (I checked twice this morning and it was 110/78).

A fireman checked the bedroom and reported four sleeping children despite the ruckus. I remarked that I found that the proper dose of carbon monoxide makes bedtime a breeze. He didn't laugh, which surprised me because usually I can read a person and determine as to who could tolerate my humor. Guess I got burnt on that one.